The first and one of the most important relationships we have in our lives is the one we have with our parents. Children learn how to love, play, interact, and resolve conflict through that bond. Sometimes we can be so busy with our jobs, household management, and just life in general, that we have very little time to spend with our kids. And cliched as it may sound, the time we have with them is so limited, and passes so quickly, that we may lose out on their childhoods completely if we’re not careful. Finding ways to connect with your kids is so worth the investment!
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Here are some fun ways you can connect with your kids:
Play with them.
The simplest way to bond with your child is to spend time playing with them. Play comes naturally to children and is a great way to spend quality time with them. Play video games, watch cartoons, play board games, have pillow fights, make a fort, play superheroes. Play at their level — don’t expect them to play at yours.
Set a date.
If you have multiple children, it can be hard to spend one-on-one time with them. Set aside time to go on a “date” with each of your children so you can connect and check-in with what they have going on.
Read with them.
Sharing stories is a great connector. Read to your kids on a regular basis, every day if possible. It’s great quality time, and one of the best things you can do to help them in life. As kids get into tween and teen years it can be fun for the both of you to read and discuss the same books.
Do chores together.
Working together on family chores gives kids that chance to find their value in the family, to be empowered and know they can make a difference. An alternative is to ask for company while you’re working on a chore without expecting help, and you may get an unexpected helper who is happy to have a chance to chat with you.
Find a mutual interest.
What is your child interested in? If your child enjoys reading, create a two-person book club and discuss the books as you read. If your child loves football, make game night a family event and cheer on your team. If your child is interested in making things, do some crafts together. It’s uncanny that when you are doing something your kids enjoy, they are more likely to talk about other things in their life.
Keep the conversation going.
Sometimes it can be hard to get your kids to talk. That’s where a “conversation starter” comes in. Have a few of these at the ready for when there’s a lull in the conversation: “Tell me about the best and worst parts of your day.”; “If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?”; “What’s something you really want to learn how to do?”; “If you could only keep one book which one would you keep? Why?” By taking the time to talk with your child about their thoughts and ideas, you’ll show them that you’re interested in hearing what they have to say.
Talk in the car.
A lot of good conversations happen in cars. Car rides offer you an opportunity to talk to your child in a non-threatening environment. They may feel more comfortable sharing how they are doing while sitting in the back seat of a car—looking out the window—as opposed to sitting on a couch or even at the dinner table.
Have a family day (or night).
One great way to make sure that you connect and have fun as a family on a regular basis is planning a weekly family day or night. Pick a day and then decide on an activity. Some ideas include pizza and movie night, Sunday morning brunch, Saturday afternoon hike or bike ride, etc.
Tell and show them you love them.
It is likely your children know you love them but how often do you tell them? Saying I love you to your child has powerfully positive effects for your child. Every now and then, just pull your child to you and hug them. Snuggle, be affectionate, squeeze them tight.
Make them a priority.
Put down your phone and talk to your child. Show them that they are your number one priority. If you have a task that needs to be done, ask them to let you finish it and when it’s complete, give your child your full attention. When you commit to making your child a priority, they will feel important, and it will help to strengthen your relationship.
Make your own list of ways to connect with your kids:
- Choose a few of the activities you think will work best for your kids and jot them down.
- Stick the list on your fridge and look at it when you’re feeling uninspired.
- It’s totally OK to repeat activities over and over. The most important thing is to find a way to give your child the connection they need.
